I just wanted to, uh, congratulate you and buy the next round for you and your friends." That got me a chorus of high pitched WOOOO's from the girls' booth and similar but deeper hoots of appreciation from the guys."And, uh, while I was here," I continued, quietly so only the bride-to-be could hear, "I thought I would, uhhhhhm, ask for a blowjob."Her mouth dropped open and her eyes got as big as frying pans.'This is it, ' I thought. 'She's gonna scream and I'm gonna get beat to a pulp.'"That would be SO cool!" she squealed. "Kevin honey, he's going to buy us all drinks, and he wants me to blow him!"The booths both erupted into hoots, hollers and catcalls at her announcement.Without any more fanfare, the girl grabbed the lapels of my sport jacket and spun me around until my ass fetched up against the edge of their table. Immediately one of her friends crawled up onto the table to my left and whispered heavily in my ear."Oh, mister, you're gonna love this. Carly gives really good head.. Their first daughter, Mother took a position at Anderson’s Fine Apparel, sold my father an expensive cravat, married him and had me. Holly, on the other hand, closer to my age than hers, became a librarian, but never caught a husband.I figured being a librarian was why she wore glasses and maybe the glasses were why she wasn’t married, but what seemed to me odd was her un-remorse about it. In Mother’s view, anyway, postponing marriage might make sense for a professional woman, but “already heading towards thirty, her sister needed to be going to church socials where there might be a widower.Instead, Aunt Holly read poetry that didn’t even rhyme. She showed me one about a sunflower that she said was about God. I guess God could be a flower if He wanted to, but why would He do that? Mother said that my aunt was a bookworm.I didn’t see a problem with her being an old maid, though. Who wouldn’t want an aunt whose birthday gift to you is your favorite because she’d have read up on what.
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